My hand shook as I pulled the box into my lap, preparing myself for what may lay hidden within. I felt nervous and sick with anticipation. I suddenly wanted to flee, but where would I go? And how would I get there? Moving my leg took more concentration than I was willing to admit and I was still attached to what looked to be a hundred monitoring devices.
The box stared back at me, waiting...wondering when I would crack its lip and finally divulge the secrets it had been keeping for so long.
What if I didn't like what I found? What if I did?
Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on the lip and pulled, knowing there was only one way to find out.
All neatly arranged inside, I found clothes, a wallet and a scattering of other personal belongings. I immediately went for the wallet, knowing it would hold the most information.Everything else forgotten, my fingers traced the smooth edges of the soft leather as I bent it open.
There staring back at me was a picture of my own face. Because of the mirror across theroom near the sink, I'd managed to catch a glimpse of my reflection a time or two since awaking here hours earlier.
The man looking up at me on the California driver’s license photo was a stark contrast to the person I was today.
Cold empty green eyes looked through me, as if the world and everything in it were beneath him. With a crisp white shirt and flawless green tie and jacket, there was no smile permeating through the lens--not even a hint of emotion was showing. My now long, unkempt hair had been trimmed short and neat, matching the impeccable persona that could be seen even through the tiny picture.
My attention turned towards the address.
1023 Sea Cliff Lane, San Francisco.
I looked out the window, trying to see if anything beyond its paned glass brought back any hints or memories of a life I once led.
San Francisco.
Even though the driver’s license confirmed what the nurse had already told me, I still felt no connection with the city below. Nothing called out to me, nothing held my attention.
Was there anyone down there that would remember my name?
I dug further through the wallet, finding a couple hundred dollars in cash, as well as several credit cards and a few membership cards to places I'd never heard of, but apparently belonged to.
Or had belonged to.
What happened to your life when you went into a coma? Did you disappear? Cease to exist or did life carry on? I looked at the address on my driver’s license and wondered if I still had a home...a bank account? I wasn't dead, but who had been paying my bills for the last two?
Did I have money to pay the bills?
Fuck.
Suddenly, all I wanted was to slip back into that coma and never wake up again.
And then I saw her.
It was just a glimpse at first, the edge of a picture sticking out from inside the wallet--a wisp of hair that had me pulling at it to see it properly.
With the golden gate bridge as our backdrop, a much younger, carefree version of myself held a girl in my arms and suddenly the world didn't feel so lonely anymore. Copper red hair tumbled down her back like a fiery mane. Her bright blue eyes sparkled as if she held untold secrets waiting to be revealed. In my own eyes, I didn't see harshness or the rigid void of nothing. I saw her, reflecting back in spades, the love radiating between us.
I flipped the photo over, hoping for something...anything that would tell me who this girl was.
There was nothing but a date and a name.
August and Everly - 2005
Everly.
She had a name.
Now all I had to do was find her.